I have had writer's block for the past few months, as you can see from the lack of posts since June. I have to admit that I am personally struggling with my full time job as an elementary art teacher while my soul yearns to be a midwife once again. It has been a full year since I caught a baby and I feel the heaviness of that emptiness in my life.
Case in point: We were at a friend's birthday party on Saturday and my friend introduced me as a "used to be midwife" and then she must have seen the horror on my face as she quickly reintroduced me as "a midwife who is a full time teacher right now". I do prefer the latter introduction, but the first one may be just as accurate, albeit heart wrenching.
In my school day I get to teach many of the babies I once helped welcome into the world and this always makes me smile when I remember that connection. I also had an arts night last week for my school and at one point in the room there were four families who at one time called me their midwife. Remembering these facts makes my heart swell!
I feel an inner conflict about this brewing in my soul and I know that this is something that I will always keep close, whether it be in a midwifery practice or by being a birth advocate, but I can't quite get comfortable in my skin right now with the lack of birth activity.
I feel an immense responsibility to continue writing this blog and educating women on natural birth and health issues, so I will forge ahead. I appreciate your loyalty for staying with me during these past months of silence. A blog is supposed to be a channel for writing, but when the author gets a block then things get stuck and stale. Therefore, the lack of posts.
Please hang tight, if you will, and let me get my mojo back about being a "birth advocate" and not a currently practicing midwife. In my heart it still stings to hear that, but in my head I know it is reality. My commitment to women, babies and natural childbirth ways has not waned and if I must look on the bright side of things, I must say the flame has not died, but only burns brighter. Here's to many more posts, more stories and research based information to keep women abreast of support and natural options! Happy November to all of you!!